Many many years ago (a lot of my stories start like this!) I was a randy 18 year old. I liked to go out, like most 18 year olds do, and with a few drinks inside me, I could get a bit risque when in a club with a young man.
Shortly after getting A Level results, my friends and I decided on a last night out together before most of us went away to Uni. Nothing unusual there. It was a normal night out. Dressed up to the nines, short skirts, heels, skimpy tops. The usual. I had my fella with me (he is my husband now, so that is some consolation at least!). We had been going from bar to bar and many drinks had been consumed. At around 11pm we settled ourselves into a club for the rest of the night. It was one of those clubs with lots of nooks and crannies, dark dingy hiding places. The kind of place for dirty dancing. At least, that's how I, in my randy booze fulled state interpreted it.
After a few raunchy dances, boy and I settled ourselves in one of these nooks for a bit of nearly nookie. Well.. at first it was just a LOT of snogging. But I was feeling horny. I suddenly decided it really would be a great idea to whop out my bangers. I remember the look on my (now husbands) face. It was partly excitement, but mostly shock. Actually.. I think he was embarrassed. We carried on with our snogging whilst my boobs flapped around in what quite frankly was an annoying manner. I think at this point hubby (bless him) tucked them away for me. He made some comment something along the lines off "at least it's quiet in here!" when we heard a loud "EHEM" behind us. We both turned around to be greeted by the faces of two burly but grinning (in a leery manner) bouncers. "You do realised we have security cameras in here, don't you?" they started laughing, and seeing I was suitably ashamed looking, walked off muttering "great tits though".
Really. What slutty behaviour. How did the man end up marrying me?
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